20060725

When will u tell me e truth! Wy cant u just do it for once?
I will have 2 assume that u live ur life based on lies for now!
Thang
Signing off!

Sian...
Wads up wit me and getting 4th durin semis. Got it once again during National Canoeing Championship 2day. Damn shit. Lost 2 both national rowers... But that one was ok, however, losing 2 that combined skol guy by just a mere .5 secs is a fuckin shitty feeling. Eventhough i might have smile or wadever after e race but deep inside i still noe that it wasnt good. I noe i tried my best since this is only e first time rowing 1000.... But thats not an excuse. I must train much much harder....
Still got work 2 do... Nationals skol really took up loads of my time. Damn it, shall start catching up now.
Buy buy
Thang

national is finally over... I feel as if a big load of stress have gone off my back. However, cant have this kind of feeling for long cause we have 2 train hard once again 4 next yr. We still have a title 2 defend

Well, some how i just hope u can understand my decision. I say those things not because i want to spite u or wadsoever. That is wad u told me so thats wad i want 2 do.
Just so u noe, i wanted 2 row in e final of this yr K1 500 for u also. U were on my mind during e heat as well as e semi. I was vvv disappointed of me not being able 2 make it into e final. Not just because i couldnt contribute anything 4 e team, it was partly cause i feel as if i have failed u...
I dont noe, there seem 2 b so much differences btw e two of us now. I guess it is best that we both stay off one another life, it will be much better that way... At least u wont have 2 worry bout giving me e wrong impression anymore...

This song is now stuck in my head... its really suit wad is happenin btw us now;

hate me
blue october

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you


I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you


Thang
Signing off!

sigh. did THE bravest thing in my life
i unsubscribed from wow

time to study
4 Fs has a way of changign a person