20040531
ahahaa.. SHIT LA.. have i told you ppl yet?? my bro was APPROACHED to joint eh bloody fashion industry.. this bunch of ppl just approached my bro one day and asked if he'd consider joining the fashion industry as a model. after much negotiating blah blah, he's in. and the bad thing is, he gets to KEEP THE CLOTHES and he gets a PROFESSIONAL HAIR STYLIST and he's PAID to just stand and pose. WTH.. argh argh argharghar gha not fair.. i want a hair stylist too.. that stuupid poser.. anywayss just wanted to say i love him lots.. hahaaaaa
20040530
Damn bored 4 da first day of da weekend
Actually went 2 watch Shrek2 on Friday. Quite funny at times but I just love Puss in Boots, Da damn cat looks so freaking cute n innocent. Hahahahah, just like me at times I guess. Me n Tim 2 be honest. Hahah.Spending Saturday in da room doing nothing, play games at one time n another but in conclusion, still bored.
Same thing happen 2 day. Nothing much 2 do. feeling tired n sick.
I hate saying this but I miss skol, somehow?????? AM i nuts??????????
k, nothing else 2 say. Peace!!!!
20040529
watched troy ttoday.. got really pissed at the greeks, useless fighters, all they want is opwer and to fight. i think hector was real ncie, best character, achilles is nice too, some character, and the most useless is paris and achilles dumbarse cousin.. both useless cause trouble only. but i support the trojans all the wayyy theyre so much better than the crappy greeks.. anywayyy. think its too hyped, troy isnt that nice actually. nth nice except i think the way of fighting then.. in medieval tiems intersts us.. seriously its dumb.. lol.. i keep watching stupid shows.. but i want to watch more. i realise i sound really bored.. maybe its cause i am.. hols have started.. i need spice in my life.. argh.. i'll go find pepperr.. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
20040527
just a very interesting talk and im afraid its helped me with my MI essay.. another long one.. oh wells.. here goes.. negativity, what is negativity, i'd like to define it,for emotions, as negative emotions, emotions that ppl would normally not enjoy having, such as anger, jealousy, hate, hurt. you get the point. and these negative emotions affect the way we think, the way we reason. our perception, not really perception, our view of something or someone. positive emotions too, for example. i hate pok. he greets the teacher innocently. i think about it, i hate the guy. so i think he's trying to suck up to the person, whenhe relly isnt. but im sure of it, the more he denies the surer i am. but im wrong.. emotions give us severly skewed emotions and affect the way we think
eg 2. i am jealous of someone. he goes around and talks to antoher girl, i get jealous, negative feelings. he talks to mroe girls, i think hes trying to flirt, hes obssessed with reading, i assume he only likes ppl who read. but really. that guy actually likes me, and he isnt flirting, i think he is, i then want to kill him, or break up, or do something stupid, but its wrong, cuz in true fact, he likes me still.. (just an example. im not gay)
positivity! i loev pok. he goes around ppl, i think hes being sociable and so nice.. blah blah.. u can see clearly.. that emotions give us skewed and unreliable knowledge, it isnt good to trust unless u are in control of ur emotions.. so yea.. this is kinda what im going to write about.. dont steal.. the mind of a genius reveale.d.. feast urself.. cya ppl
11:14 PM
heyyyyyyyyyy... like to start this entry on a happy noteee.. got something damn cool to tell yall.. oh no.. mr ang just called to talk to me.. about the college dinner thing then said smth about my assignment.. arghhh.. never mind.. im happyy.. CHOY IS A LOSER.. CHOY ASKED BAOXIAN TO GO WATCH A MOVIE WITH HIM.. AND IN A SUPER LOSER MANNER.. OMGG HAHAHAHHAHA.. SORRY CHOY. JUST FOUND IT ALITTLE FUNNY.. I SUPPORT UR DECISION =D
hahah yea..
to thang: thang buddy, cheer up, u KNOW we care, thats why we dont want u to strain ur leg. its a strain muscle yea, nothing then, but it'll get worse if u keep straining it when its already strained right.. so yea.. but now ur better.. and u know that EVERYONE cares.. u wont accept that.. u make out everyone to be worse then they actually are but.. yea.. talk to me k?
to the stupid super heroes: i dont know what u guys are up to. but i personally support batman silversurfer and tinkiewinkie, so yea..
ahahahah athats about it.. choyyy go for it!! i mean.. go for herr!! =D
7:34 PM
Shit man. In bytz now. Feeling depress over some fucking shit dat just happened yesterday n today.
Yesterday came for techincal training, I know dat my damn leg is able to take da work and shit but den evryone was trying to stop me cause they think that I'm just an useless piece of shit dat shouldn't come for training at all. I mean, it's only a strained muscle, nothn 2 serious but ppl just keep on bitching over it. according to dem dey need me next year but deep down i noe dat i'm just a fuckin loser amd i'm just taking up some space in da team. U noe da decision of quitting softball is comin back into thoughts now. Maybe I should quit for real dis time. I mean last time wad stop me from quitting is cause i thought there are ppl wo care but now when I found out dat no one gives a fuck so there is no fucking point of staying in softball anymore. Shit man. Thinking about it now. Gosh, don't really noe wad 2 do now. maybe should go watch a movie or sth 2morrow, needs to push da stress level down.
Damn, just got back my chem test today. Da only one dat I truly look forward 2 cause I thought i could PASS. But no, I fucking got a 9/40. Damn, I don't noe wad's wrong with me. All da damn stuff i noe already but on test day i always fuck it up. damnit , not gonna think about it anymore, It's all over. Peace. ( oh 2 somebody wo said dat I was acting hostile, it was cause of u guys wo piss me off making me feel like some disabled fuck in da first place k) peace out.
20040526
the more i think about it the more angry i get.. shows what kind of person i am.. who cares anyway, its not even in my place to judge anyone.. who cares really. society has a way of making ppl self-centered..too caught up with urself, ur problems, ur acheievments, to give two hoots about anything else, anyone else.. just.. fuck .. off
20040525
Heart of Gold
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
really bored now and with nothing to do.. nothing to do.. but chat with nina.. and she's BORING.. heard that?? UR BORING NINA... and i keep telling her that.. but some how she keeps saying tis a compliment.. oh yea. she has elastic eyes.. how cool is that.. i tried poking it and it just bounced off.. aint that cool... to have everlasting eyes.. she refuses to admit mine are nicer.. how come nowadays no one dares to trust.. is it cuz of their past experiences of cuz of themselves. scared that ppl will betray it, scared that ppl see them as vulnerable.. i dont know.. i think trust really helps, cuz i mean, when ur down and sad or wahtever.. who do u go to.. u hafta haf that someone u trust, a good friend at least.. then the trust becoems mutual and the two help each other.. when either one is feeling down, knwoing then whatever happens, and u lose EVERYONE, u know u can rely on that person. like they say, when the world walk out on u, that person walk in.. ya.. so i guess.. trust is not necessary.. but it certainly helps a hell lot.. i mean.. when everything jsut isnt right.. u feel so bloody alone and sad when theres no one to go to.. and telling ur probs, sharing them really helps.. it helps get it off ur chest.. but .. oh well.. its a personal choice isnt it. to gain or not to.. theres that small risk tho.. that the trust wil be betrayed but as long as u build up that friendhsiop and trust slowly.. nth will happen.. hmm.. ur choice really..
oh yea.. i know its plagarism but i stole this from my brothers blog.. he's reallll swell
a perfect friend? duh often taking little and giving much. listening always smiling always caring always there. but the nature of man(at least those that i'm familiar with) takes and takes for granted, forgetting to reciprocate the concern, failing to fulfill the requirements of proper human-human interaction. a one-way relationship/friendship drains the soul and the mind. like a fountain that sprays beauty, there has to be another source, perhaps not obvious to the ignorant eye, but definitely an external input to rejuvenate and keep the fountain flowing. few have even reached the stage of embracing the 'pay-it-forward' movement. then again it isn't a movement. its a way of life. a way of life that many including myself have yet to reached. a promising dream so far yet so near. till then be considerate, be nice, be thoughtful, be caring, be generous, be kind, be loving. be there when you're needed. be a friend because you may think you're a nobody but to somebody you'll always have a place. believe.
11:27 PM
Blah, in bytz now. Nothing to do. Decided to blog. Damnit, I just pulled my quad muscle yesterday. Damn pain, cannot walk properly now. Look worse than the Hunchback of Notre Damme. Man it better heal fast before I come back to vietnam cause if my mom sees dis, most likely she will make me quit softball. Better buck up. Gotta go play Insaniquarium now. Peace!!!
20040524
I wanna go back soon. I need advices from my mom. Damnit, Wy can't da damn skol just end straight. I'm starting to loathe skol already. I'm damn stress out with it. People are fucking around with my life. Cannot take it anymore. I don't really wanna take people advice seriously these days cause to be honest I don't really trust anyone anymore. From all the things that happened, I don't really noe if I should live my life the way I do now. I mean I'm too open, i practically trust everyone cause I thought it would be good living dat way. But now I found out that i shouldn't do dat anymore cause people can just anyhow fuck around with my life using all da info i have said. 2 bad. Peace out.
20040523
hey pppll.. i got a really nice erm.. passage? on lvoe .. its nice suonds cool and makes u think
here goess
i may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge, and i may have faith so great i can move mountains, but even with all these things and i do not havge love, i am nothing. i may give everything i have, even give up myself as an offering to be burned. but i gain nothing if i do not have love. Love is patient, love is kind. love is not jealous, it does not brag/ and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been doen. Love is not happy with evil but rejoies with truth. love accepts all things it truts always hopes and always remains strong. Love is eternal. all gifts will come to an end. the gift of knowledge will end. so these three things continue forever: faith, hope and love. and the greatest of these, is love [quoted roughly from the bible]
yea.. so love!!! who says loev has to be romantic and bgr-ish, love is what keeps ppl together. and what everyone in ip lacks, even if ur not a christian.. just love yea.. trust keeps us togetherr
[detour]..... i cant believe it, while im typing all these, pok is on msn, telling me about sick stuff.
15][Lignum] Sick.. bleargh.. says:
touch and suck can liao.
for innocence sake i wnot mention what he refers to but yea.. i hope u get it. its this kind of ppl who corrupt the youths of thday[end detour]
thinking about bgr, why does everyone keep rushing into relationships? i mean.. whats so good about it, everyone thinks its cool or whatever to have a relationship. to what? show off? i mean.. whocares if ur attached, u can be close to someone without a relationship, maybe even closer than what boyfriends and girlfriends are today.. so yea.. food for thought.hmm yea..
hmm.. to all ip students out there. cheer up and hang on guys, its only a week mroe, less maybe, and hectic as it is.. its only 6 mroe blinking days.. we can all go out on saturday yea.. we'll flood orchard.. watch shrek 2 or smth.. but yea.. hang on! and to that ip guy out there.. here goes..
WHEEEEE! :) hahahahahahahhahaha im going a little crazy.. but.. thankx a lot for the care and concern.. we all love uuu.. unless ur a guy in which case i dont.. yeaaa
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr still debating whether i should write about my true feelings for that someone.. but.. argh shit i'll just write it.. cuz no one reads this stupid blog anyway
i love u pok.. ur the light of my life, i cant imagine a day without u, my heart yearns for u, each time i see ur, my heart grows warm, it comes to life, i live once again. when ur presence fades from me, i grow cold, my heart slows, sadness pervades, i cease to exist, i enter a world of slumber and heartbreak, watching u go round with other ppl, when will you come back to be?? pok.. i lvoe u,, dont leave me..
YEA RIGHT
8:12 PM
People, can u please stop fucking tell me wad da hell I should do. Please!!!! I think I’m old and fucking matured enough to make my own fucking decision. When I say I’ll start a new life, that mean I will. And I’ throwing away everything that I have already, there’s no point. As I’ve told Li Hang, I don’t treasure fake friendship. Either u r my friend or u r not. Don’t fucking leave me confused and later on regret about my fucking decision. If u like me TRULY or want to help me TRULY then I’ll consider u as my friend, but if u FAKE it then there’s no point of trusting anymore. Just don’t try to b my friend and mess up my already so fucking complicated life.
Well about that new life, I’ll throw all of the person who are fake to me out of my head. I’ll c if I can make new friends or not, if not I’m contented with 4 TRUE friends I have right now. U guys rox…. The rest wy don’t u all just go fuck off with some SEXY, HOT, CHARMING, FUNNY… wadsoeva. Leave my FUCKING LIFE ALONE. If u r reading this, u’ll surely noe wo exactly I’m talking bout. Peace…..
20040521
Ugh. I’m fucking pissed. Everything is like some fucking shit right now. I promised to stop swearing but everything is just too shitty to be fucking true. I can’t stand this fucking life anymore. True I’m just some lousy shortstop in a lousy team but I know for fucking sure that I’m much much better than some other fuckers. Nevertheless, wad da fuck do I get, only ppl to fucking dis me foreva. Yeah, “I DON’T WANNA B A PITCHER, I WANNA B A SHORTSTOP”. Yeah u got it right, I’m so fucking sure that I can do a hell of a fucking good job at shortstop than a pitcher. And I know that I’m da fucking best choice for da position so stop fucking talking about it. I know my batting sux but den in term of fielding I know I can beat just anyone in FIEDING. FUCK. I just can’t stand this shit anymore; I guess foreign scholars are always treated this fucking way. No point right? So I’m just gonna stop fucking around and do wad a no life scholar should do. Mug like some mother fucking asshole. God damnit………. Wy do I even choose to go to this god damn place while I can b back home enjoying my ass. Got too many things to worry bout, this is not wad fucking 16 years old should do. Gosh, I hate myself, I hate my life, and I hate every single fucking thing that is happening everyday. Ppl pissing me off without noeing it and they don’t really give a fuck some more. I’ve tried as many shits as I could but in da end, I come to conclusion that my life is nothing but a pile of shit. This is the life that ppl step on, they don’t feel sorry for it but only feel sorry for themselves because they had stepped on sth disgusting and WISH it WASN’T THERE IN DA FIRST PLACE. I just tried to be as happy as possible on the outside but deep down inside I just feel like jumping off the 6th floor in da boarding. I guess da world wouldn’t feel much loss beside my parents cause I’m just a fucking disgusting piece of shit……….. I CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE. I’m stress out, I’ve lost everything that I eva dreamed of. NO FUCKING POINT OF LIVING ANYMORE. God, can anyone bring a shotgun and blow my fucking brain off my head. I WANNA DIE. Well, I know some of u out there are fucking charming, hot, sexy, funny so just fucking live with it. Don’t fucking interrupt my fucking life can? Just go out and fuck any fucking girls u like but don’t u dare come up to me and talk shit bout me. Wy don’t u just go on with ur wonderful life and I go on with my shitty life. FUCK OFF MY LIFE. GET DA FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING SIGHT…UGHHH. Thx Hang for listening and tryin to cool me down, u’re a real pal. Well at least u r unlike some of them, who thinks that they are my friends while truly they r just fakin it and don’t really give a fuck. They are just trying to be nice and faking like they are my true friends like dat but in da end I’m still just a piece of shit. Nothing else but a piece of shit. Gosh, wy, wy does my life has 2 be like this. There is no one I can trust in NJ beside Hang, Tim, Pok, and Andre. It’s just so fuckin wrong. People thinks shit of me, don’t give a shit about me, fuck around with me. Fucking shit, wy can’t I just fucking drop dead somewhere right now. I really wish dat I was on da fucking plane dat crashed into da damn World Trade Center. I could have just burned to dust and disappear from da face of this fucking world. This is wrong, totally wrong.
“If any teacher is reading this blog right now, I’m really sorry for the large amount of profanities I used but I just can’t really help it at this stage of time”
20040520
Yo Yo Yo!
Somehow I feel much much better suddenly. To be honest Atoms to Matter test is da one dat I feel damn confident about. I did quite well, hope da result come out da way i expected it. I studied damn hard 4 dis but suprisingly I did not blank out on da test. Hahaha, proved wy my math sux. I really understand those stuff thx 2 da last 3 days. Mugging like shit 4 it. Well, i feel bad cause I was unable 2 help him. Damnit, he seems quite hopeless back der. It's ok Tim, just one freaking test. The problem is dat Chicken Mama never taught us anything so it's ok. Most of these stuff i learned back in Vietnam so it's ok 4 me. Don't give up yet. K. Now must start studying for da Light to Life test, doing da rest of da assignments and all. peace out.
20040519
Tired.... Damn tired.... Too tired to be true. This is so not happening man. Gosh, I don't noe wad to do these days.
20040517
hha.. relax thang.. ignore everythin yea? hols coming soon.. fun:)
10:30 PM
Uggh. SO freaking tired these days. Don't noe wad da hell is happening to me. Everysingle day sleep a 3 or 4. Gonna burn out damn soon i guess. This is just 2 much. Look at us. We're like some big time muggers wo have absolutely no life at all. I haven't watch a movie for a very long time already. Haven't been 2 orchard 4 around 1 month. THis sux. My other friends wo r currently in Sec 3 now is playing their ass off. Not fair. Where is the fun and life that the Sec 3 equivalent should have. Damnit. I can't control myself much these days, losing my temper a lot. And if I'm mad, I tend to ignore other ppl wo r not involve in it. This sux like shit. Sorry 2 all of ya cause I acted like some damn jerk on Saturday. Blah, gotta go somewhere now. Peace out. Cya
20040515
dont know whats going on.. feeling more and more tired nowadays.. its always at home.. in school im perfectly fine. but when i come bck home.. so dam irrtating.. i hate it i hate it i hate it
20040511
hhas.. this is the first time im blogging in school.. never really bothered.. but so bored.. nothing to do.. playing shit lame games in byte. waiting for cheerleading at 5. for 30 bloody seconds of cheerleading.. i stay back 4 freaking hours.. cant stand it already.. urgh.. it just occured to me that the more u talk.. the more ur relationship grows.. but the more u talk.. the higher chance there is u'll get into an argument.. so whats the catch? there has to be something to fix this shit.. ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaahahhai feeling really bored.. playing clubby the seallll :(
4:30 PM
back home.. bloggin again.. heh.. today after learning the cheer.. daryl asked yus to stay back.. and told us to relax.. dont be too stressed and if we needed anything.. the house reps were there for us.. so nice.. :) looknig around.. everyone is so dam stressed.. everyones dying from the workload.. it jsut seems to keep piling up.. last weekend everyone was alerady dying.. then came back to school only to get MORE assignments. MI paper, Wp book review, essay, math assignment tests.. argh.. then its not like we can do anything.. nearing the end of the tern already.. cant get more time or anything.. .. :( the house reps are going to be dammmm busy... sighhhhhhhh so much work..so little time.. so stressed no one actually can get anything done.. heard that someone cut himself or herself.. scarrryy... hang in there guys.. 2 more weeks.. dont die.. just hang onnn.. :) ur friends are there for u.. if u dont think u have any.. come to me.. for a small fee.. haha.. jk.. lol.. no mood to laugh.. so so sosososososo much to dooo argh argh argh.. im so stressed im crazy already.. hahahahha
20040510
i miss maldives!!! lol.. dont know why.. maldives is so problem free.. either cuz we were worked too hard to let us think.. or cuz the place is so simpple.. and beautiful.. hahas.. i miss it soo much.. wishi could go back there.. maybe i'll buy an island of my own when i grow up.. and just live there in peace.. alone.. or maybe with a few friends.. thats a gd idea.. i'll buy and island in the midle of the pacific ocean.. and build a mansion.. ok.. not a mansion.. a small cottage.. and i'll bring along erm.. stuff to play with.. like lego and stuff hahahaha.. no tv no computer.. i can just sit relax.. with my friends.. i'll hire a pilot to fly over my island once a week with food supplies and stuff... drop them and parachute it to me.. i'll have my own.. powerboat..ormaybe a raft.. i can explore the oceanss whee.. thatd be cool.. with nothing and no one to bother u.. just peace.. hmm.. aahaha.. bring along imaginary friends too.. then i'll never be lonely.. whole day practicin kickboxing and beating up palm trees.. ahahaha..
wishful thinking.. but yeah.. anyone want to contribute funds or supplise to aid the bringining of my dream to reality may pass it to me
thank u ppl.. for ur everlasting kind support!!
:)
:(
20040509
stress.. performance pressure.. everyones dying.. every few minutes.. theres someon complainng of stress and with good reason.. there is stress.. this weekend.. its seems that all the work gathers up .. weekends are the only time we people ahve for work.. during the week days its cca cca and other activites.. we're losing our social life and it cuts.. bleargh.. performance pressure.. from parents when oyougn.. labouring like shit.. then entering the society to labour like shit for another 40 years.. then what.. spend the last 2 yrs in a bloody old folks home.. why cant we just enjoy life when its here.. no one wants to die rushing to school.. doing some freaking project.. if i die the next moment.. i want to be happy.. doing something nice.. not labouring in NJ.. not researching at hoem..what is life now.. when we spend most of it just labouring our asses off.. trying to please who.. not ourselves.. but other people.. get a grip people.. whos controls ur life. u or other pppl.. sure ur parents gave ur life. but did they do it to control u.. to make u slaves.. trophies for them when they enter the old folks home.. show off to friends.. what ahs alife become now? from something given to us to enjoy.. to something where we suffer.. why is everyone so materialistic.. everyone now cares about money.. some messed up rat race to be the riches strongest whatever.. why cant we live life in a world where everything is everyones.. not quite communist.. but yea.. everyone shares.. if they work.. we work equally.. we an use others resource.. what we need is love trust.. sort of like a dragot in israel.. u ppl shd go see.. its soo. friendly.. warm.. everyone works.. no pay.. they get what they earn.. i miss old times with ppl.. ip is soo fast.. not fast.. slow but massive at the same time.. slowly kiling each student.. pinching them off from this world.. one by one.. kililng killing.. stress.. sigh.. whats happening.. wheres life.. is this the famed IP.. innovating funloving whre everyone cared and were friends.. no enemies.. those smiling happy faces on those postcards.. whats happening.. ask urself.. get a grip on your own life ppl.. live it the way u want it..
20040508
hhas. been bloggin alot lately, but i realised bloggin isnt that good.. when u pour out ur feelings into a blog, everyone reads them, and well.. some stuff.. yea. gives ppl a bad image.. but then again.. it helps get rid of the stress i guess.. i think school isnt a good place for feelings to show, cuz in sch, its noisy, and ppl tend to adapt to their surroundigs.. hiding their true feelings to fit in, giving everyone a happy friendly i'm ok feeling.. but when they reach home, their real feelings are let out, cuz no one's there to see it.. yea..hha.. takes psychic ppl like me to see through ppls masks and disceren their true feelings.. so cool.. oh yea.. today heard nina speaking cantonese or smth.. it was reall funny.. hahahaha.. and after that.. ninaang keithang and and me and russ walked out to the bus stop.. ahh well.. cheerleading is starting to get boring again.. bleargh
9:12 PM
cheered up considerably.. feeling happy once again.. but it'll happen again. everytime that thing happens but i guess it'll just keep hapepening.. cant help it.. anyways.. too tired to go for softbal today.. prob going to lose anyway.. softball giant. hmm discovered that when ur sad and u listen to sad songs.. it helps alot.. whee.. hahas.. byee
20040507
today had shotputt or however u spell it.. ahaha.. so fun.. anyway.. after that, pok was asking me to go orchard.. the bloody arse. i spent the whole thursday asking him to go orchard but he kept refusing.. now wheni have no time he hasta ask.. crap face *&&^*$&&@%@#$@#^.. yea.. sometimes, ppl are really insensitive, they get so absorbed in their own world of comfort and joy and friends they leave out certain ppl.. they dont realise it cuz they're so involved in pleasing themselves and those they think matter. it isnt till they lose that someone or when that someone feels really left out, do they realise, and its that person who matters the most. but what can be done then, the damage is alerady done, the person has alerady been rejected by u once, will he or she allow it to happen twice? dont think so.. i really cant stand it when ppl do this, they leave out important ppl for the sake of pleasing lesser ppl, taking the precious few for granted. argh.. who cares anyhow.. if no one will, why should i.. this entry's kinda directed to the more insensitive few.. u shd know who u are.. its time to wake up. look at who u've been neglecting.. the more important PERSON. not ppl.. get it right..
potentate
10:55 PM
another one
hahas.. erm yea.. i hev finsihed opndering life and found much wanting.. ppl in IP nowadays.. stressed til break poitn.. watching them is sooooo sad.. not tht i have no stress but yea.. and friends.. all have their own probs.. keepign to themselves.. while trust between them and their friends do generate a closer bond.. once in a while .. a little solitude in in need. many ppl find solitude and loneliness welcoming as it gives them a time to sort out feelings.. to affirm feelings.. but how doesn one tell.. when one sees a friend in dire nee dof help, what does he do? a normal reaction wuold be to rush up to help.. but how does one know whether what the person needs is solitude and time alone. a break from life.. who wouldn't want that now.. a break from sch for juz a few days.. to relax.. to laugh once more.. laugh not cuz of lame jokes, laugh out of joy, to be really happy once again.. ladies and gentlemen.. i rally u to me.. pleaseeee help find ways to get the message across to the teachers loud and clear.. we dont want to be rude.. no one gets put down or tainted in thsi process.. plsss help.. men of ip! today we fight.. we may be defeated.. but we are not defeated.. and orcs and goblins stand aginst us.. their arrows will pierce our flesh, their swords swift and deadly.. there will be a day we fall and today is not that day.. today we fight.. we fight.. for victory and glory
war lord and emperor.. tim
20040506
lalalal.. that previous entry was a little rash.. nvm.. but im serious abt the revolt thing.. well maybe not a revolt but rather a petition.. wouldnt that be nice.. another future president scholar down the drain.. ah well.. some sacrifices have to be made.. jus realized one thing.. sometimes, no matter how much u trust a person, that person wont return that trust.. too bad.. but it cuts.. i think it does.. sigh. nowadays.. my psychic powers are failing and im becoming more and more insensitive.. whats wrong.. overworking my psychic powers?? i dont know.. but i know that i desperately need them back again.. its crucial for me as the sole emperor of the universe to keep ip01 together.. everything now rests on my shouldres.. how can it be.. what happened to the rest of the Lord ENFPs? all are dying.. fading as darkness overcomes their will to serve.. it seems that now everything is my responsibility.. and back to the topic.. trusts without trust. thats the worse situation.. it rots the mind. decays. how acn any kind of relationship be maintained.. what the class needs now is trust.. everyone withdraws into his or herself.. no trust.. everyones cold.. the class is disintegrating.. the disintegrated integrated program.. sigh.. no one trusts anymore.. why.. some ppl trust fully and totally.. but it isnt reciprocated.. and that destroys.. when will pppl trust.. im off to ponder the meaning of life.. byeee
20040505
hmm so much happened recently.. and 01 is really breaking down.. ssad.. i think its IP.. too much projects and work.. all make the students too tired to go out socialize.. leaving all of them shagged.. theres out personal assngments.. theres the projects.. and we hafta go look for our own stuff ourselves.. sooooo time consuming.. and u dont even know if what uve got is correct.. its stupid.. people hating each other.. relationship problems.. back in any guy sch or even mix schs.. theres always a grp of guys who trust each other totally and theres nth between them.. but now here in IP.. there isnt such a thing.. where do we guys go when we have problems too private to tell any girl. we have no guy grp where everything is shared.. whres the grp whre we can draw strength from.. knwoing no matter what.. theres always those guys we can trust.. stupid ip.. too many girls.. the guys feel oppressed.. everywhre we go.. we see girls.. girls.. what.. trying to turn gays out? theres no masculine person we can look to.. seriously.. there are way too many girls.. too little guys.. next year.. when more girls join.. argh.. whats it going to be like.. having juniors.. not quit old but not junior either.. interesting.. but still.. IP is too stressful.. its project after project. assignment after assigment.. its breaking us down, tearing apart the things that bond us, our free time to socialize. our sources of entertainment thrown away in order to finish assingments due long ago.. have we now life of our own.. dumpoing everything to enter IP.. we hae other activities besides sch everyday.. is sch a full time job.. we finish sch at 4.. cca til 8.. raech home at 9.. dead shagged..t oo tired to do work.. yet we force ourselves.. pushing ourselves past the limits. searching for information to finish the project.. we find some.. ask ourselves is it related. necessary.. we dont know.. yes.. is fosters independant learning.. at the expense of what.. give us back our lives.. we want our time to socialize.. cant we haev a week break.. to reform the bonds that have alerady been ripped apart so violently by the pure stress placed on us.. give us us free give usus free! ladies and gentlement.. shall we revolt?
